Keep Moving Forward

So I’m trying to come up with a future plan. For a long time, I’ve been putting it off, waiting for something to come across my view and entice me to pursue it.

That hasn’t happened yet… Until now.

When I declared my major, I had the thought in mind that, even though I might not end up in that field, it was still a worthwhile major because it can be applied in any career path I chose. Logistically, it made sense.

Then I go into my intermediate accounting class one day. Bob Sheperd, the teach, had a firm come into class one day, Novoco, to present what their practice is about. They explained a normal day for workers as well as benefits and perks. It all seemed so glamorous, but the more they talked the more I felt like I was unprepared for everything. This feeling of ill-preparedness grew when Meet the Firms, an event for econ and business related majors to 'meet the firms' on campus in a formal setting, came closer.

Had I gone to that fair, I would’ve made a fool of myself. I didn’t have a prepared resume, cover letter, references, heck I didn’t have any “formal attire” to speak of. I missed out on a great opportunity that would’ve moved me forward in life.

Not again.

I expressed these feelings with Kaylah and I felt stupid for having the plan I had in the first place. The plan I had ensured that I’d graduate on time and have a background of accounting without it applied to my major. So, Kaylah and I tweaked the plan a little.

Original Plan:

Have an Economics major, but take the Accounting classes along with Econ upper division courses to graduate on time (Spring 2011). Having the Accounting background would allow me to take the CPA independently and apply to jobs, blindly, with that on my resume.

New (Smarter) Plan:

Declare a Business Management Economics major, (Economics + Accounting classes I planned to take already + 3 extra classes), and prepare for Meet the Firms during Winter and Spring quarters. The change in majors would mean I’d have to stay an extra quarter, (graduate in Fall 2011). Hopefully, I would get accepted for an internship over summer during the winter MTF and create a name for myself to go to MTF, again, but for a full time job during the busy season upon graduation.

Intense, right? It's odd that I'm now actually yearning toward something that gets me out of this institution I've been in since I could remember. The more I think on it, the more it feels like I'm losing a part of myself but at the same time shooting toward something just as good. Sitting in Bob's class or Alan's TA section helped me realize that I'm ready to move on.

It's about time to do all the things I want to do in my life anyway. No more complacency. Future is now!

Trusting the Tiger

Blog No. WHATEV: Kayaking

An excerpt of JT’s journey as notated by JT:

…So it came to be that I got on the road late on a Saturday to once again travel this land, the destination: The college of Sai-err... Right, UC Santa Cruz... I didn't make it, not with my sagging eyes; I pulled along a small stream and rested awhile letting the cool air rush past me in the night. As the sun chased the night, hinting at its presence with a small horizonal glow, I once again rose and continued my journey finding the horse I sought... my multi-day adventure was just beginning... but finally, I got to sleep. The story continues now however, and as such I must bid you goodbye oh souls of the net. Until our paths next cross, fair-well and peace be upon your soul!

Guess who the horse is.

JT said he was going to arrive at a late hour, so I stayed up… Little did I know that he would pull over to the side of the road and snooze for a couple of hours and then arrive on campus at six in the morning!

After I gave him directions to the parking garage, I gave him a huge hug and walked him to my apartment, where the both of us plopped down on my bed to sleep. His phone kept going off, so I didn’t sleep the entire time. JT, however, the sleeping beauty that he is, slept through his most annoying alarms. I had to climb over him and fall off the bed to turn off his phone. When I returned to the bed, however, I find that he laid fully onto his back, taking up the bed. Trying to salvage some sleep, I just decided to lay on JT and close my eyes for the following three hours.

At noon, I woke up with JT snoring at my face, so I slowly got out of bed to log online. I talked with Dustin for awhile when I saw the time. I wanted to wake JT up at a reasonable hour, somewhere between a decent night’s rest and enough daylight time before our kayaking class. So, I took a brief shower and made some coffee to stall for some time while JT slept. I woke him up at 1:30 with much difficulty.

We walked around downtown for a few hours. We went into the Ohm Gallery, the lantern store for those not privy. JT took interest at all the spiritual stuff and the wall scrolls with quotes on them. We were in that store for awhile, JT looked for some oriental clothing, and I observed. So, pretty much a normal shopping day with anyone I shop with, which was odd because I didn’t expect it to be that similar when I was with JT.

We also walked into Serpent’s Kiss, the spiritual store with a bunch of stones, scents, and other miscellaneous Wiccan stuff. He had walked in with something in mind, something that was made of amethyst or the like. I just looked at pendants with other people in mind.

I led him to Gigi’s, where I introduced him to the Blondie. There, we decided to eat some lunch. Kaylah walked out and talked with us for a few minutes. The tallest person I know and the second shortest person I know in one sitting. I had brought up Piper’s excursion with alcohol on her birthday, where Piper described the Midori drink to Kaylah. Midori seemed the most appealing to her and asked me to relay the message to JT to bring her some. I told her that the drink was in the trunk of JT’s car and she got excited.

Kaylah was trying to give us directions, but she didn’t exactly know where to find the kayaking place. After a few texts and some Blonde confusion, I found out that the place we were to meet everyone was on the wharf by the boardwalk, which I thought it was all along.

~

During most of our extended conversation, JT explains that there are different levels of wants. There’s the “passionate” level of want, and the “semi-interested” level of want. Those who want things on a “passionate” kind of level will stop at nothing to get what they desire, despite any obstacles they may face. Those who want on a “semi-interested” level will allow any obstacle as an excuse of getting out of it. These people will find themselves putting up roadblocks for various reasons. In their choice of not going through with their desires, they choose what they think they should be saying as an excuse for not following through.

In the case of Piper, as JT puts it, is that she chose to victimize herself by putting up roadblocks that prevent her from making her desired choice. Although this probably wasn’t intentional, she had tried to put JT’s and my feelings at ease when she complained that she was being held back instead of going with JT on this trip. In the case of Kaylah, if she really wanted to try Midori in the first place, she wouldn’t have easily let us go like that and had us over to hang out instead of deciding to go to bed early. With JT’s logic, I could just as easily take to face that everyone I invited to visit me during the quarter didn’t have a strong enough desire to come over in the first place…

I agree to a point.

While it may be true that if Piper really wanted to go to Santa Cruz with JT, she could’ve just as easily did everything in her power to ignore the complaints. However, coming from a different perspective, Piper would see “being tied down by excuses” as meeting and prioritizing obligations by placing other people’s needs and wants before her own. Kaylah, although she expressed extreme interest to try the Midori, she decided to put herself above everything else that night to try and be healthier. To everyone else, I don’t know. Maybe they don’t intend on visiting me anytime soon, but they could just as easily be prioritizing their needs over their wants and leave me in the dark as a result.

To my conclusion, I’ve decided to stop bugging everyone about coming to visit. They know they have a spot on my bed if they want to sleep over, but I’m not going to push them anymore. If they really wanted to come over, they would’ve done so already…

We choose to do everything or nothing, whether or not we see it… Like my unconscious choice of not telling my mom that I planned to go kayaking with JT off the Santa Cruz Wharf.

It wouldn’t have been a huge deal if I didn’t know how to swim.

Admittedly, JT questioned my logic for going through with it. Basically, I felt that I was safe, so long as I had someone with me who knew his way around the water, (hence, with JT’s sailing experience and swimming capabilities, I was in the safest hands possible). Of course, I had asked my CA, Kim, to see if I needed any swimming or ocean experience, to which she replied, “No, I don’t think so. If it did, I wouldn’t be planning this event because I’m super afraid of the ocean!” So I wasn’t alone.

“So you trust me?” JT said, after explaining my logic. “Well, you know this shows that I am trustworthy.”

I chuckled. His statement came from a previous conversation of ours about trust. “I chose to trust you.” I said.

I don’t make this kind of decision lightly.

After walking and talking on the wharf, JT and I arrived at our checkpoint, where we stashed our stuff and put on our wet suits and life vests. After our quick tutorial about paddling and worse case scenarios, (which didn’t comfort me at all), JT and I walked down to the kayak. I sat down in front, while JT held control of the rudder in the back.

It felt so weird. I didn’t like feeling that I wasn’t on solid ground. I felt my legs and back tense up. However, after paddling for awhile and a few dozen assurances from JT, I started getting the hang of it. In fact, after a few donuts in the water, I felt the nervousness slip away. This was the most spontaneous and excited I felt in a long time! It didn’t even bother me that JT, predictably, steered us numerous times to collide with the other kayaks to test my bravery.

JT’s foot pedals, the ones that steered the kayak, were bothering him. Being the tall person that he is, his feet would fall asleep whenever he concentrated on the foot work. So I got a little nervous when he decided to bring up the rudder, leaving us to steer manually with the paddles for the rest of the time.

There was another two person kayak that kept following us. I recognized them from around Kresge East, but I didn’t know their names. These guys kept asking for a race to the point where they taunted us. Taunted JT.

Taunting JT? Not a good idea.

So we raced a few times. JT kept repeating behind me, “Remember: strong, smooth strokes! Gain that momentum!” They unleashed the tiger. We lost one race, but we won a few more.

In between bravery highs and freaking out moments, we kayaked around a huge bed of kelp and seaweed. One of the kayaking instructors threw a snail at us. The snail landed in the water, which splashed in my face. I grabbed the snail, which had smaller snails riding on the back of it, and handed it to JT. The snail rode with us the rest of the trip.

We also saw a baby otter lying on the mother otter’s stomach and a head of a sea lion poking out of the water. The sea lion was so close, we almost crashed into it. It was those kinds of moments I wished I had invested in a waterproof camera.

Then, we kayaked further out to see where the waves got rougher. The surfers were present in partaking to these waves closer to the rocky shore. We sailed along, one wave after another raising our kayak and splashing back down as it passed. JT kept asking how I was doing the entire time, and I kept assuring him that I was okay. A few more strokes and we rowed to the big rock, where we saw a bunch of lazy, migratory sea lions piling on top of each other. There were brown ones and blonde ones. They were so cute! I was glad that we went out of the way to see them.

On the ride back, we had the option of sailing back depending on how strong the wind was. The instructors had expected the winds to die down, but the winds did just the opposite. I bungeed my paddle to the kayak and pulled out the sail. I pretty much followed everyone else’s lead in reigning in the wind. JT kept instructing from behind, “Brace yourself with the sail! Try and steer the wind in our direction!” With no rudder, JT steered us using brute force against the increasing waves. The entire time we were sailing, I felt like the kayak would tip over at any minute. JT warned me of this from the get go. So, as uncomfortable I was clenching the sail in both my hands, I tried to level myself into a complacent balance as we raced across the waves back to the pier.

When we arrived back at the dock, JT felt that he could rock and tip the kayak back and forth, seeing as he did plenty of that once the wind died down. I felt impressed that I could balance myself that well, especially after JT remarked about how well I was doing. After we helped put all the equipment back, JT and I grabbed a couple of burritos and retired back at my place.

I offered a few DVD’s to watch. He picked out Star Trek just so that he can trash it to pieces while I was watching. I wanted to see how “bad” it was, so I agreed.

~

Movie Review: Star Trek

It was bad.

I’m by no means a Trekkie, but from what back story I know, even I agreed this movie was bad.

There was no room for character growth and it seemed that the story line was based off of a million different impossibilities at once, (to which JT pointed out every single one). Kirk, after a bar fight, ends up being called to the academy among all the other space cadets. This Kirk is a jerk; a stereotypical, boob-grabbing, hiding-in-my-tightie-whities-under-the-bed type of jerk. Then there was a twist in the story: Spock and Aurora being romantically entangled. I didn’t expect that one. I thought Spock had tried to become an emotionless being like the rest of his people. What about Aurora? I thought she was supposed to be romantically entangled with Kirk later down the line. I got so confused, so I just thought that, whatever the writer’s were doing, they weren’t going to stay with any original story arc. It’s something I can allow if they can do it well.

However, it got to a point in the movie where I said it was enough. After Kirk gets exiled onto a frozen ice planet, running away from big, bigger, biggest monsters, in comes the real Spock. The old Spock from the TV series. After hearing the detail as to why he was there, (something about red matter, black holes, Rimulon being destroyed, and time travel), I saw that the writers had to have created a story feasible enough to include as much of Leonard Nimoy in the movie as possible.

It reminded me of the Transformer movies in so many ways. To my surprise, JT showed me an internet review which revealed that both the Transformer and Star Trek movies were written by the same writers.

The only thing I could see redeeming this movie was the stellar visual effects. They show so much potential! But with no redeemable characters, a nonsense storyline filled with fate and destiny, and nothing memorable to show for the plot and villain, the effects just lessens the blow of an overall horrible movie.

My Final Review: 1 Out of 5 Thumbs Up –> This was NOT my mom’s Star Trek.

~

In the end of it all, I semi-confronted JT because I felt uncomfortable with making decisions on the trip that he was supposed to have. I wanted to say, “You’re the guest, you make the decisions.”

But, as if he read my mind, he preemptively said, “I made my choices. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t choose to come here, right?” Aww… “I came here for your punk ass, didn’t I?”

I guess only fire can bend metal. But then again, I don’t think I would have it any other way.

The Love Shack

Lost Blog 4: April Visit

On a recent trip to Sacramento, we celebrated my nephew, Lennox’s, birthday. The venue, of course, was Chuck E Cheese. It seems to be a tradition in the family that started with my sister to have the kid’s birthdays have some big production to involve everyone crawling out of the woodwork.

Audrey’s memories of childhood birthdays were always the block party setup. When my mom lived in an apartment across the street from the park, she would orchestrate some large party that would sometimes involve the entire building, where the kids played in the park and the parents congregated by the BBQ. It seemed like the way to do it. After my mom moved, however, we ended up living in the condo on Florin, a bigger home they moved into for me.

At Lennox’s party, I saw a bunch of my relatives that I haven’t seen since my last family reunion event… Which I think was Audrey’s wedding… Anyway, it still felt weird. I remember having my birthdays at the same kind of place, where I just goofed around and enjoyed myself in the games. Now that I have graduated into adulthood, I walked amongst the crew behind the scenes, (setting tables, watching kids, socializing with adults), in other words, not my usual forte. So much has changed, like the original 3 children, (me, my cousin Ruben, and Audrey), had grown and more children have arrived. Ruben is off serving the country, I’m off at college, and my sister is now the mom. The new generation of adults is formed.

I wouldn’t be this nostalgic at all if I wasn’t reminded of it with every aunt, uncle, family friend, and child kept reminding me of it. They always bring up how small and puny I was, then how much I grew and filled out, and now how I’ve grown and lost weight. I don’t really feel it. I’ve been in school for as long as I can remember, doing the same kind of thing. No big deal to me.

So I tried to stay away from the family as much as I could. The one sure fire way to do this was preoccupy myself with a job I was legendary for: Collecting tickets. My mom ordered the family pack of tokens, a great number of which was given to me to spend wherever the tickets were. I hopped back and forth between machines, playing the game of chance and observing jackpots up until the point I got a few of my own. By the end of the day, I landed 2423 tickets.

After the party, I was supposed to meet up with Dustin somewhere unbeknownst to me. I figured out he was at a Firestone pretty close by, so I said for him to come and pick me up. After some phone calls and confusion, I waved my family goodbye and proceeded to wait for Dustin on the curb. I decided to walk down the road to see where I was in relation to the Sunrise Mall. It turns out that the Firestone where Dustin was at was literally in the same parking lot as the Chuck E Cheese. I got the phone call of his arrival, he was at the Chuck E Cheese. We walked across the parking lot and hugged each other upon our intersection point.

We got into the car and drove to Dustin’s sister’s house. His dad and his brother were there fixing up a truck while the sister lounged on the couch in the garage. Apparently I made the brother jealous because I had my goatee. Looking at the guys, there was the dad with a full beard, Dustin with a stubbly beard, me with my goatee, and the brother, bare. Dustin’s family kind of reminded me of some old neighbors I hung out with during my youth at 3613.

Rex needed something at the Autozone, so Dustin drove the four of us on a quick trip. Dustin and I hung out in the car while Rex and Alex went inside. Dustin and I hung out and talked about random things. We observed a guy with a Jafar goatee messing with his cell phone. We joked about how he might be sexting, an unlimited sexting plan, the usual.

After that trip, Dustin and I went to Folsom and saw Patric’s family. They fed us really good lasagna and salad, Dustin consuming twice as much as I had. Then, Dustin took a shower while I trolled around on their computer. I started Tumbling on Dustin’s account when he walked in with only a towel. I typed up the blog, “Jafar, Up to No Good” where Dustin read parts of it over my shoulder, obliviously unaware it was his account.

~

We were meeting a few of their friends at the Lollicup in Roseville to watch the talent show. My previous Lollicup experience didn’t turn out to well. It was when Taka took us on the day of a concert and I almost choked on boba in the tea. However, I wanted to go to the talent show because I remembered my friends, the Matutis clan, had performed here as well and I wanted to see their competitors. Last time, I had the strawberry milk tea, which was okay but the boba threw off the taste. This time around, I tried an almond milk tea without boba. It was very good, considering it was just almond and milk.

Dustin, Patric, and I were waiting until Charlene, Valerie, Jennifer, and Rachel arrive. Char and Val are sisters, Jen and Rachel are sisters, but they are all related, (Filipino families, go figure). I met Char and Val on a number of occasions, but Jen and Rachel were new. They all seemed pretty cool. Jen and Rachel seemed as much of a spaz as Char, so it was all good.

Charlene’s performance was pretty good. She sang a few songs on the keyboard while Valerie took a bunch of photos.

There was a girl, Sam, who needed to be egged on by the entire establishment to go and perform. She did an original poetry reading. You could tell she was nervous because she started sputtering her words until they came like a barrage of bullets in your face. I couldn’t get most of the words, unfortunately.

Then there were these three singers, Mona, Jenna, and… (forgetting name)… Francis Bacon. The three of them did some amazing songs and blended harmonies really well. I was impressed by Jenna, leading the group with her singing and piano playing. She also ended up doing piano for another guy… (forgetting name)… Moshark… And they did some renditions of popular songs. Hell, she did “I’m Yours” with him on guitar.

The rest of the night went pretty much like that. We enjoyed each other’s company and helped clean up after the talent show was all done. More of Dustin’s and Patric’s friends arrived near the end of the shindig. We all started goofing around in the parking lot, dancing, cuddling up to Dustin’s bosoms, the usual. Then we all started to leave to our cars, all three of them parked up right next to each other. Somehow, it ended up being crazy to the point where the three cars rolled down their windows and started blasting Kelly Clarkson on the radio. It was fan-frikken-tastic. XD

The three of us then started driving out of Roseville. Patric, in the backseat, started talking about their Jackson Rancheria weekend where Matt needed to go really bad while they were driving to the point where Matt grabbed an empty can of soda and a pillow and just peed in front of everyone. Patric, the lovely sheep that he is, started to do the same thing. He couldn’t get the pillow just right and apparently it had hurt because he was yelling very loudly. He didn’t go through with it, not that I wanted him to in the first place…

Then Love Shack played on the radio while we were at an intersection. Dustin and I sung out the lyrics, but apparently Patric didn’t recognize the song. What he ended up doing was rolling down his window and yelling at a car next to us. He was yelling, “Hey! Love Shack is on the radio! Hey why are you ignoring me!?” Dustin drove past them as fast as he could after that. XD

We decided to pick up Matt, so we drove to his place and knocked on his window. He was hungry so we decided to go to In n Out, (after Patric took a quick trip to the bathroom of course). Matt was always one to complain about his lactose intolerance, but, for some odd reason, he always ends up with the milkshakes. We hung out for an hour, talking about random stuff, force feeding each other’s food, and making Kirby faces on the paper ketchup cups. It got to a late hour where I needed to go home.

At the apartment, Matt gave me a wonderful back massage. I usually don’t let anyone do anything to my back, but I made an exception because, in my mind, I justified it as something that was long overdue. However, it had gotten so comfortable that I almost fell forward into the street. Then, they showed me this funny video on Patric’s iPhone of how Abraham Lincoln’s murder was justified in the end. I would’ve never guessed that Abe was so gangster to the point of insanity. XP

After an awkward hug, (from the front, behind, and below), I said my farewell… Until Dustin decided to use the bathroom. We snuck into my apartment where it was all dark but dimly lit by night lights. I had to take Dustin by the hand and show him the bathroom. After that, another awkward hug ensued, and then, as they were walking out, Patric dropped his pants and waddled outside to the car… Oh what the neighbors must think… And I was getting to like them, too. XD

The Traveling Monk

Lost Blog 1: Good

I was walking home from Cowell dining hall the other day, thinking for some reason that I was overdue for something odd to happen. Indeed, as odd as I thought of it, it happened.

Walking through the path of pink trees and the breeze of pink petals, I bumped into a squinty eyed bald man wearing red and orange robes, carrying a large bag over his shoulder and wheeling a large suitcase. He walked up to me and asked if I were a student here.

No, I’m backpacking through Europe and took a wrong turn at the Coliseum. “Why yes, I am.”

“Oh okay, I’m glad I ran into you. I’m a traveling monk on a mission to spread the word of enlightenment.”

The monk handed me a thick orange book with a picture of a chariot on the front. Bhagavad Gita: As It Is as it’s titled. It had a picture of someone resembling Ghandi on the back, which I assume to be the author.

“I sense some imbalance in your life,” the monk declared, “Might I ask what is wrong?”

Nosy bald stranger… “I guess I lack sleep. I am a student after all!” I chuckled dryly.

“Minor troubles sometimes mask even deeper struggles you have not yet recognized.”

“What do you mean?”

He talked a little about how everything around us and everything we do is connected on an abstract level. I listened attentively and began wondering why I had this bitter mood. No one notices it on the surface, but sometimes I carry around a bitter companion, a critic, an unwanted shoulder angel in my head… (I’m not crazy I swear!) But I questioned in my mind whether or not I was a good person to let these thoughts sneak through.

But before I reflected on the subject, the monk surprised me: “You seem like a good person.”

“Really? Even though I seemed bitter and cranky?” I gave a wry smile.

“Goodness isn’t decided on what we say or do, but on what drives us to do them.”

With that, I reached in my left pocket. The only bill I have is a 20. Are you seriously giving that away? “Here.”

“Why thank you! I’m glad I ran into you today.” The monk smiled.

He was probably going to ask for a donation anyway. “Well, it seems you have a long way to go, don’t you?” I chuckled, awkwardly, swatting my hand above my shoulder.

I looked at the book some more and decided to hand it back, but the monk refused, “Keep it. Consider it my thanks.”

And with that, I took his hand and shook it.

“Good luck on your journey.”

Am I that good person?

Epic Lights and Silhouettes

Blog No. 7c: Winter Dreamscapes Part III

Part 3. Winter Dreamscapes. This one's a doozy. Enjoy.

*Northern Lights and Silhouettes*

I look down at my usual checkerboard sequence, waiting what would happen. I felt a movement from underneath the checkerboard, feeling a sudden gust as the checkerboard flew upward toward my face from my hands.

I fell backward to see darkness in front of me. I was somehow luminescent in this dream because I could see myself perfectly as I sat up.

After waiting another second, a hypnotic, electronically produced sound resonated in front of me in lieu with a pair of illuminating green lightning bolts. The bolts felt like they were being stretched in front of me, as suggested by the sound of an electronic didgeridoo. The bolt stretched until the bolt immediately shrunk and died.

Clap! A silhouette appeared in front of a green light illuminating against a stage screen. The green spot light did not cover the entire screen, but only a section of it. The silhouette was of a bassist, standing behind the screen. From his body structure, I somehow translated this silhouette to be my friend, Eric, from high school, seeing as he sported a faux hawk and had massive arms. Low sounds that matched the hypnotic didgeridoo droned from behind that screen. It was odd because his base had looked like an upright bass, only not with a thick body so that the tall bass can double as an over the shoulder electric bass, which he still played with the upright bow.

Another pair of lightning bolts, purple this time, started stretching in front of the screen. Clap! Like an elastic band, a purple spot light illuminated only part of the screen, revealing a skinnier, taller silhouette with long hair and a rock guitar. He looked like Levi, also from Charter. He added some continuous guitar riffs.

Another pair of lightning bolts, blue, stretched in front of the screen, only it was clear with the light that someone was in front of the screen stretching these bolts. This silhouette was still hard to make out, though. He stretched to his limit and Clap! The bolts snapped back together like a palates belt. A blue light partially illuminated behind the screen and revealed another silhouette on a drum set. This one was of Monty, what with the curly afro. He was rolling dark and intense drum rolls on the floor tom with bass hits like heart beats.

A pair of red lightning bolts, revealing more of the person in front of the screen, stretched in front of me. Clap! A silhouette of a man with a bandana and an electric mandolin was revealed. He resembled Justyn, skinny in structure with a circular face and an emo haircut. He was strumming somber, low chords that matched Levi’s riffs.

Finally, a pair of yellow lightning bolts stretched by the might of a curled up, still blacked out silhouette until both ends collided together into the final Clap! The last person revealed with the yellow light was a female, I characterized as Youbin, playing a hallowed electric violin. She played in a melody in the soprano range that caused tension every alternating note to Levi’s riffs.

The music got louder and faster as the dark figure in front of me slowly stood up, raising his head an revealed a tall, spiky flat top. I recognized this figure, but only in my dreams. As the music reached its epic, climactic ending, the spiky haired silhouette raised his arms up, cupping his palms toward the sky and Clap!

A blackout. The screen and the silhouettes disappeared within that split second, the colorful lights dimmed to black as the stage itself became dimly lit. The eerie electric didgeridoo still plays in the background.

On the left, there was a glistening ice sculpture of a feminine figure. The lightning bolts were held at the base of the sculpture by metallic hemispheres which somehow gave the piece a nice flowing yet non-uniform color that resembled the Northern Lights. Each curve and smooth texture prominently showed intricate colors like a tye-dyed flame engrossed in the ice.

On the right, there was a towering tree, the size of the ice statue. The roots were twisted, the leaves swayed, the vines hung, and the vibrant fruits and flowers sprouted in such a way that made the tree have a look of a male figure. The dim light of the stage provided dark shadows and even green color that accented the outline of facial features, a chest, and arms. The legs looked bent, like he was kneeling, shown through the hollow of the tree.

Words then fade in and out on the screen behind them:

“Fate is unpredictable… Like the flare and form of glacial lights.”

“Or a woman of foreign beauty.”

“Like roots of a geriatric tree, we absorb our power through Hope.”

“Together, we can break from the chains.”

“Together, we can fight the odds.”

“But… Would we want to?”

A meteor circled from above the stage, around my head, and into the statue, where it shattered into pieces. The crash caused sparks of fire that spread to the tree which weakened the roots and fell over. The fire wasn’t a normal colored fire. Because the statue was shattered, the lights were not enclosed into one form, so the lights emitted onto the fire, causing rainbow colors to emit pastel smoke.

The dark and colorful smoke whirled around me until I couldn’t see anything. There were flashes of light here and there. Whispers whirled around me as I tried to find the source. Then I saw the silhouette of two figures run from behind me onto the stage. There was a male figure, the one with the spiky tall hair from before, and a female figure, smaller in stature and had long wavy locks. The male dragged the femme along onto the stage.

Once the smoke dissipated, I saw the silhouettes climbing a circular staircase around a castle turret from behind the screen. There was only a red light emitting from behind the screen, just enough to see the two forms differentiated from the turret.

It was the femme that stopped in the middle of the stairs. Her voice cried out: “It’s no use! I can’t see through this smoke! He’s going to capture us!”

“There’s no quitting now,” responded the male, “We have to keep pushing!”

“Listen. I’m going to expire from this world—”

“No you’re not—!”

“It has been decided. There’s no arguing any longer. You can still run, be safe, and be free to love again!”

“I want you safe with me! We have to keep hope. Together we can break the chains and together we can fight the odds!”

Just then, the red light illuminates a large dragon silhouette emerging onto the turret, wagging his head back in forth. Its eyes and nostrils glow in the shadow of its silhouette. Its wings expand the broad length of the stage. It gave a ferocious war and turned its head to the left.

“You can’t fight Fate, it’s not worth losing your life over!”

“It’s worth losing my life if I get to keep you with me. Now come on we have to move forward!”

The human silhouettes embrace each other as the dragon silhouette raises its head high and breathes a giant ball of flame in my direction. The flames breach through the screen and engulf my view entirely.

THE END

Epic Hail

Blog No. 7b: Winter Dreamscapes Part II

The second part to my four part Winter Dreamscape series. This dream is in three parts because, as you might be able to tell from the dream, that night was pretty restless...

*Fire Hail*

The beginnings of this dream, like any other, had started out with a checkerboard. A small ball of flame lit up from above and landed into the checkerboard, making it ripple and dissipate into a dark blue.

The phenomenon was intriguing. The sky had a blue to red gradient corresponding with the ocean and the sun. The clouds were thick and black, blanketing the sky in darkness. The air was visible and wavy, rippling from the heat. The ocean was dark and brewing, boiling, steaming… It was too dark for it to be day, but too bright for it to be night.

I examined the ocean on top of the cliff to observe all of these changes. I could feel a sense of sorrow, like the place had felt familiar and I was depressed that I was never going to see it again.

“HURRY INTO THE JEEP!” A voice yelled from nowhere.

At that moment, the clouds open up a giant hole in the sky, revealing a large fire ball about to crash into the ocean. Different colors, like fireworks, swirled around the giant sphere of fire.

I ran and jumped into the passenger seat of the jeep. The jeep skidded and screeched as it drove past the road. A few seconds later, I hear a large BOOM!, as well as a large rush of water. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw that the flaming meteor hit and a giant tidal wave started to rise.

“Oh man, I’m too young to die!” said my Econ TA, Jeremiah, only in this dream he was apparently my brother.

“FLOOR IT OLD MAN!” said the remaining passenger, Lauren Graham, which suddenly made sense about why I was in a jeep. (Gilmore Girls reference)

“Ol’ Bessie is grinding her gears as fast as she can!” said the father figure in this dream, Robin Williams.

(Come to think of it, can you ever see Robin Williams in a thriller?)

The jeep tears up asphalt as the screen transitions, (by a flame wipe, where the screen burns up from left to right to reveal the next scene), to somewhere in the middle of what seemed to be a desert. We were exhausted, we were hot, but we were safe. As for the jeep, the engine started smoking and the tires had melted.

Robin and Lauren were having a little back and forth conversation:

“Well I think she finally did it…”

“Oh not this again.”

“I’ve had her through the coal mines, up the Mississippi, down with the man… Ol’ Bessie’s gone to the big car dealership in the sky!”

“Hey! At least the big flaming torpedo isn’t coming at us anymore!”

“Though the massive monsoon of boiling water almost did.” Jeremiah interrupted.

“Shut up, Toby!”

I walked away from them to find any sign that indicated our location. All I could see was the dead grass and the unavoidable heat ripple. I look up to see the sun to try the boy scout compass trick, but the brooding clouds made that impossible. There were no landmarks within view, so I walked up the road to see if there was any over the hill.

Below there was a city, only not a city. The buildings and roads suggested a bustling city, but the lack of human presence and the mounds of rabble suggested a ghost town. Among the buildings, I recognized a tall, metallic structure that held up something that looked like a UFO with a point on top.

“Hey guys! I think I know where we are!”

Robin, Lauren, and Jeremiah ran up the hill to join me, to take in what had happened to a once lively Seattle.

Fade out.

~

Fade in.

“How hard is it to find a car?” Jeremiah complained, “There are loads of them we could hot wire and drive!”

“It has to be the right one,” Robin said, “Something that can drive fast at manageable gas mileage.”

“Well hurry because we need to be in New York before sun down!” Jeremiah said anxiously.

I look at Jeremiah and feel this sudden sense of pity and woe.

I flashback to the beginnings of this apocalypse, when Jeremiah and Tao, another TA, had been walking hand in hand along a beach of some sort until they noticed the clouds darkening. The scene changes and they started running through the boiling hot rain toward the docks. They were at the end of the line and the boat only had room for one more person. Jeremiah was prepared to stick behind with Tao, holding his arm in his hands. Tao responded by giving a peck on Jeremiah’s cheek, and then pushing him onto the boat.

“I’ll find another way,” Tao yelled back, “I’ll meet you in New York. Don’t worry!”

“How can we meet your gay lover by sun down if we don’t even know where the sun is?” Lauren had remarked, unaware of Jeremiah’s vulnerable state.

I stomped on Lauren’s foot. Jeremiah didn’t speak up to defend himself.

A pebble at jet force speed fell and hit my shoulder. It fell to the ground, a small light of fire burned out.

“I think it’s starting to hail.”

We all looked up at the clouds as tiny drops of fire fell, and then we ran out of sight.

Somehow, the four of us were sitting in silence inside a giant Escalade in the next instant. Robin kept staring back at me behind the passenger seat, as if he was trying to communicate something to me. I can feel the tension between everyone in the car. I wanted to try anything to break the silence.

“So… Nice weather we’re having today.” Probably not the best choice of words…

“SHUT UP TOBY!” Lauren yelled.

“Don’t yell at David!” Jeremiah defended.

“I’m trying to break the silence, yo,” I said, “It’s becoming unbearable.”

“Unbearable?” Lauren sarcastically remarked, “Oh how can giant flaming balls of doomsday goodness become unbearable?”

“It doesn’t hurt to be optimistic!”

“It doesn’t hurt to be YOUR FACE!”

“How does that even make sense?” Jeremiah interrupted.

“It just does! We are all going to die in the end, you know it, I know it, we all fucking know it!”

“No we don’t! We don’t even know how far this storm expands! If we stay ahead of the storm and ride out the hail, then we have some hope of surviving this catastrophe!”

“It’s pointless to think there might be a light at the end of the tunnel if you can’t see any of the light to begin with!”

“The VonHolsens would have never thought of the situation that way!”

“Oh, well if you like the VonHellsings so much then why don’t you have THEM drive you five thousand miles to meet up with your boyfriend?”

“Would you all just SHUT UP?!” Robin interrupted, “Now we are a family. Family sticks together, right? Well right now we are one member short and our one member is headed to New York as we speak! I don’t know about you, but I could sure use some good news right about now!”

Jeremiah cracked a smile.

Just then, a large boom erupted from behind us. A giant fireball landed in the distance into a bunch of buildings. When the fireball landed, a bunch of little fireballs exploded across a few blocks, creating more wildfire.

Robin pushed hard on the pedal and we sped out of the main crash site. We kept hearing crashing of different kinds around us. The buildings started to fall over onto the other taller buildings like a domino effect.

“Hurry! I can see a helicopter up ahead!” I peered out the window and, sure enough, there was a helicopter gearing up its propellers.

Just then, the car decides to break down.

“Great… So much for gas mileage.” Lauren responded.

We all run out of the car and jetted toward the direction of the helicopter. Robin was getting weak and falling behind.

“Hurry! They’re going to leave without us!” I screamed back. Lauren, Jeremiah, and I paused as Robin fell to the ground. Jeremiah and I ran back to carry him up and then we continued running.

The helicopter blades whirred faster and faster. The helicopter pilot yelled over the speeding blades, “Hurry aboard! We don’t have much time!”

Just then, Robin, took a step back.

“Dude! What are you doing!?” Jeremiah asked.

“You guys go ahead; I have some things to settle here!”

“You’re crazy! Come on! LET’S GO!” Lauren demanded.

“As long as my family is safe, that’s all the assurance I need! Now I’ll meet you in New York as soon as I can find a ride!” Then Robin shut the helicopter door and the helicopter started taking off.

“That crazy oaf!” Lauren yelled.

“We need to turn back!” I yelled at the pilot.

The pilot looked down, we were already up pretty high. The pilot answered, “He’s going to have to find a different ride! If we turn back now, we’ll all be blown to smithereens!”

The three of us looked out of the window, helpless. We couldn’t help but feel that we would never see him again. As cars exploded and buildings seized up in flames, Robin waved goodbye as the helicopter speeds off.

Fade out.

~

Fade in.

The helicopter lands on top of the roof. The clouds were as brooding as ever. On top of the roof, a sign of hope, was Tao. Jeremiah ran out of the helicopter to meet up with Tao.

“Is that him?” Lauren bent over to whisper in my ear.

“Well it either has to be him or some other really friendly gay Asian dude waiting to make out with people that land on roofs.” I said this as Jeremiah and Tao locked lips and embraced each other tight.

Lauren and I stood there in the foreground observing the two lovers for what seemed like ten minutes. The both of us shifted in patience as this went on. After whistling show tunes, playing rock, paper, scissors, and even some mime, Lauren got restless.

“Okay, we GET IT!” Lauren interrupted the vigorous make out session.

Jeremiah and Tao chuckled as they walked back to where we stood. Jeremiah introduced Tao to the both of us more formally. Tao was noticeably tall compared to the three of us, which I took as a plus because I remembered that Jeremiah liked climbing on Robin’s shoulders when we were kids.

“Glad to meet you,” I said, raising my hand to shake his. He pushed it away and then lifted me up in a giant bear hug. I could hear Jeremiah’s laughter out of my free ear. As soon as he put me down, I fell back into a seated position.

“Don’t you have something to say, mother?” Jeremiah poised.

Lauren paused for a minute, took a step back, and said firmly, “Welcome to the family.” I heard Robin’s voice being echoed from her words. Tao came closer to try and hug her, but Lauren immediately replied, “Don’t even try it!” raising an index finger to Tao’s face.

We walked down the street, talking about nonsense things, avoiding the topic of Robin even though it was still conscious in everyone’s mind.

Just then, the sound of crunching metal came from behind us. We looked back and saw a tower of flame that engulfed the helicopter where it landed and started moving forward. The four of us ran and ran from the tornado of fire. City infrastructure had melted and burned as we passed.

“There!” Tao pointed at the tall building where there was a window washing platform waiting on the ground.

We all got on and Jeremiah and I cranked the platform upward toward the top of the building.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to use the elevator?” Lauren cried out.

“The fuses are gasoline powered! We would potentially explode once the elevator started!” Tao replied. This somehow made sense.

The platform climbed 23 floors as the four of us looked down in amazement of the spectacle of flame engrossing the street. Smoke started to rise and fill our lungs. Slowly, but surely, we rose above the fire and the smoke to the clearer air.

Suddenly, two of the four ropes snapped, tilting the platform forward. Lauren and I managed to grab onto the ropes as Tao and Jeremiah hung by the edge of the platform. I tried to loosen my grip on the ropes to help Jeremiah and Tao, but the platform threatened to fall into the smoke below.

Lauren screamed out, “How can this situation get any worse?”

“Don’t say that!” I screamed back, “If you say that, something might actually happen!”

“Augh! I don’t think I can hold on much longer!”

Jeremiah and Tao looked into each other’s eyes, Jeremiah’s watering up. I knew what they both were thinking. Tao’s words only confirmed it, “It was a pleasure to finally meet my family… For however short a time it was.”

The two interlocked lips one last time as they let go of the platform together into the smoke below. Lauren and I screamed back to them, unable to reach their hands in time and unable to let go of the ropes keeping the platform from meeting the same demise. I could feel tears coming from my eyes as the heat got more intense from below.

“Let’s climb up.” Lauren finally said.

Using the ropes, we started to snake our way up toward the top of the building ten stories up. My arms got weaker and weaker and I couldn’t help but feel the hope draining my body. I just wanted to let go right then and there.

As I looked up, I saw my reflection on the window that was a few feet away from me. I started to unclasp the rope with my legs, holding onto the rope with my hands at my chest, and then start swinging toward the window. I could hear Lauren’s confusion and sudden outbursts, but a few swings later, I kicked the window and shattered the glass, rolling inside on stable ground.

“Come on! It’s just like a tire swing!” I assured Lauren.

“I don’t think I can make it!” Lauren yelled back.

“You have to try!”

Lauren looked up toward the roof and rationalized the swing in her head. She started to swing, her hands seizing the rope tightly above her head. As she slowly recoils around, she shouts out expletives and complaints.

Suddenly, the rope had tied around Lauren’s wrist to the point where, as soon as she tried swinging into the open window, she screamed out bloody mirror as she felt her wrist joint being dislocated. She retreated back to the rope with her good hand and her legs. I looked around to see if there was anything I could use to pull her in, but there was virtually nothing in that room. She was stuck.

“Look, I’m sorry, Okay?” Lauren started to tear up, “I’m not good at handling Armageddons like the VonWilsonspicklemeyers down the street. Just know that I never meant to hurt you in any way… I just felt that I needed to stay strong somehow, and for some reason that translates to sarcasm in my book—”

“No kidding,” I mumbled.

“CAN IT!” Lauren lost composure for a second. Then she starts to breath heavily, the tears evaporate as soon as they leaked from her eyes, “I just feel powerless… I couldn’t even save the only few people that care about me… The only people I have ever really loved in this world.” I stared into her cute pouty face as tried so hard to reach her, to offer her one of my hugs, but the distance was too far. I couldn’t help but stand there motionless…

The heat and the flames were visible down below now. Like a piece of paper smoldering in the flames, Lauren burned away, piece by beautiful piece as the suns rays finally shine through the clouds behind her, her arm was outstretched trying to hold on. The sunlight shined a bright light that blinded my last sight, searing it into my mind.

THE END

What was extremely strange about this dream was that it felt like it was both a movie and an actual experience. I was waiting, practically begging, for the intense background music that my mind’s orchestra would concoct for the action scenes, but it never happened. It made the experience all the more real and frightening…

… Also, on a side note, I’m not exactly sure whether or not Jeremiah or Tao are actually gay, so I apologize if they somehow find this blog. XD

Fro On Epic Shingled Roof

Blog No. 7a: Winter Dreamscapes Part I

Four part series of weird dreams/SPORs (Subconscious Personifications of Reality). Enjoy.

*Fro on Checkerboard Shingled Roof*

Fade in.

I brush my foot across an oddly beveled checkerboard, each black and white tile curved and angled upward. I walk up the checkerboard to the top, where the checkerboard is folded slightly at the center, where a long platform was at the crease, extending from end to end of the checkerboard, slightly curved upward at each end. It’s suddenly clear that every tile is actually a roof shingle.

I glance up and see a tall figure in a fencing uniform, raising his epée and widening his stance. I can hear the blood pulsing in my ears.

“Prepare to DIE!”

The fencer charges on his tip toes toward me as I, somehow, push the blade down with my hand and lift myself up to kick the fencer’s mask off. The mask rolls off his head, sliding down and off the roof. This was where I noticed that I couldn’t make out the ground below. We must’ve been on a tall pagoda-ish building.

I look up to see the fencer’s face, only there was no head. In fact, the fencer had completely disrobed, leaving the uniform idle in midair. The blade, clothes, and armor fell and slid off the roof. As I looked down, I saw a shadow darkening below me, which prompted me to quickly look up.

The sun blazed in my eyes as a tall, slender silhouette comes rushing into view. I dash out of the way as the silhouette lands on his right foot. JT was holding a katana behind him, his bare left leg up in the air like a flamingo, (flamingo came into mind because his very short robe was a bright pink).

“Draw your weapon and show me what Jew’s are made of!” JT writhed in fiery anger.

I look down at my waist and noticed I was wearing a belt and a sword holster. I grab the sheath in my left hand and the handle of the sword in my right, hesitating on drawing the weapon as I scanned for options.

My time grew short as JT charged again. I was trying to avoid hitting him, but I didn’t have a choice. It seems however, it didn’t take too much to make him fall as I pull the sword from its sheath and jam the handle into JT’s chest. I examined the sword as I pulled it; the wide-thin blade was a deep bluish-grey with designs of a golden crescent moon and golden Jewish stars. JT rebounds back up hit me, too, with the handle of his blade against my forehead.

“Cheap move… Even for you,” JT muttered as he rubbed his rib cage.

“I haven’t even the slightest idea what we are doing!” I yelled out, awaking from my stupor. I stood up, still feeling dizzy. JT was pointing the tip of his blade in my face. “What if we get hurt? I have no armor! What kind of man are you?”

JT drops his katana on the ground and opens up his pink robe, revealing a naked JT, (of course my reaction in the dream had blocked JT’s privates from my actual view).

“Apparently, that kind…”

JT ties up his robe and picks up his blade, pointing it back to my face. “FIGHT me.”

I raise my blade up to the same position his blade was. “BRING it.”

The battle begins with JT thrusting his katana blade forward. I jump to the right to avoid the attack, almost slipping on the roof shingles. I swing my blade at his feet, to which JT skillfully skipped and cartwheeled. I run up to the stable part of the roof to regain my stance. Then the both of us jumped forward and started swinging our blades in midair. Clanging and sparks of light fly from each blow as the duel got more and more intense.

The intensity of one blow threw us backward at either ends of the roof. We both stand up and, mirroring each other, we run toward the center readying a backhanded swing that clamored on impact. JT and I both stood our ground and kept pushing our blades forward, refusing to let our will power be broken, our stance unhindered.

Suddenly, JT bends his head forward and kisses me on the lips. I was taken aback by this act just enough for me to lower my guard and JT to continue his strike. My grip on my sword had loosened and, as a result, the blade flew in the distance toward the sun on the mountainous horizon.

“It’s the art of distraction, my friend!”

Then he readied a horizontal slash. I quickly bend down and, without missing a beat, punch him in the groin. JT cuts the slash off short as he drops his blade and sits down in a fetal position, squealing in pain.

“Distraction. Got it. What’s next?”

After a second, he gets up and says, “I guess a costume change is in order.” His outfit changed from the short pink robe to a blue and white garb with a conical straw hat. He raised a giant pole and swung it around his body to a fighting stance. I look down and my outfit has changed, too, to where I looked like Cid from FFVII, complete with goggles on my head and a pole of my own.

A spar ensues, where we both repeatedly try to trip and poke each other with our very large sticks. It got more interesting as it went on as we both started using our poles at higher speeds and in creative and unconventional ways. The roof, also, started shifting upwards in areas where he or I stood to prevent us from falling and then return to normal.

When my subconscious got bored with that, JT would do an outfit change as soon as he would knock my weapon out of my hands. Then I would get a random weapon to use thrown at me from below the roof shingles. Occasionally, JT gets a new weapon, but only after I was able to use my weapon to make JT lose a round in an embarrassing and hilarious way.

It went like this for awhile. Random weapons kept getting chucked onto the roof, (a tennis racket, a body pillow, a frying pan), as random articles of JT’s endless wardrobe kept sliding off, (a baseball uniform, a scuba suit, a Vegas showgirl outfit). It definitely showed the timeline in the background of the duel as the sun had gone from one end of the roof to the other, sunrise, sunset.

When the sun finally set, the sky filled up with stars and celestial clouds like I’ve never seen before. We both were breathing heavily after a huge day of fighting. I knew I had to end it here and now…

“I know now,” I said as streams of light circulate around my hands behind my back, “without a doubt,” JT raises his version of Cloud’s Buster Sword, “that Kingdom Hearts… is BRIGHT!”

I twirl two keyblades into existence in my hands and pulled them up as JT swung his blade down for the final blow. The impact of these blades caused a flash of bright light…

THE END.

Massive Thighs

Blog No. 6: A New Lifestyle

I've mentioned before that I was going to visit the Wellness Center at OPERS. Well, this week I did.

I started on a Saturday, feeling awkward as to what I was supposed to do. I walked into the front desk, where Kaylah works, and found a half-asleep Asian man, staring at the computer. I got his attention and offered him my student ID. He swiped it and I was signed in. Now, I didn't know what I had to do, but I realized, as I was walking out of the building to the actual Wellness Center, I had my stuff with me. I'm pretty sure I can't run with stuff in my pockets. So I walked back, said, "Hey I need a locker," to which the half-asleep Asian man handed me a lock with a slip of paper, as well as a towel. I offered him my ID card again, thinking that I needed to check out the lock, but he waved me on. So I walked back toward the lockers and put all of my stuff in, wallet, keys, iPod, and cell phone.

Then I walked across the land, passed the basketball court, the pool, the indoor basketball court, the tennis courts, the racket ball court, the dance rooms, and the dance room shack. The Wellness Center at the end of all this stuff had the exercise equipment, the weights, the treadmills, all of that. I walked in the sliding door and saw a sign that read: Check in with your Student ID at the front desk with an arrow pointing at the desk by the door. I had left my student ID in my wallet…

Wellness CenteràOPERS

I walk up to the locker and realize that the slip of paper that the half-asleep Asian man gave me had the locker combination, the same slip of paper that was now currently sitting on top of the stuff in the locker. CRAP. So I tried remembering the numbers in my head. 12… 22… 18? It had a lot of twos in it that was for sure. Then I realized that if I bent down to look in the little slits of the locker, I could see the last two numbers on the slip of paper. Certainly, it was affective. I opened up my wallet and got my student ID.

OPERSàWellness Center

I walked up to the front desk to hand them my card. The blonde chick said, "Oh, but you already have a towel!"

"Didn't I need to check in with my card?"

"What? No…"

That was productive…

Walking into the gym, I saw a bunch of people at the weight lifting machines. I tried looking at some of the machines, but some of them had these pads and numbers that I had to enter in. I wasn't certain of how it worked. So I just continued walking to the few cycling treadmills at the window. Thing is, I didn't know how exactly to work that machine either… Luckily, someone also just got on the same exact machine right next to me, so I watched her dial it in.

So I pedaled. As to be expected, I got pretty out of breath. I kept cycling though. I just tried thinking about the girl next to me, to see if she noticed that I was watching her, and not try and think about how sore my feet were getting. I outran her, because she stepped off ten minutes later in a sweat. I looked down I saw that I had ran 9ish minutes and I ran a complete mile. I was proud of myself! Why not continue on for some more? So the first day ended up being 2 miles, a record for me, seeing as I never really run even half a mile on a treadmill. XD

My pain assessment though… I was sore all over. My thighs, my calves, my arms, my rear… I had grabbed all of my stuff and gave the lock back to the half-asleep Asian man, who was joined by the peppy brown haired woman, who asked, "What's your last name?"

"Um… But I didn't give him my card." Kaylah had always asked last names when people returned stuff because there was a slot system behind the desk. The brown haired woman nodded slightly, but the half-Asian man perked up and slightly turned himself away from the woman…

Second day I was more prepared. Run to 2 miles… Finish this song… Slow down… Run faster… 4 miles! It was during "Simple and Clean," which drags on for a bit at the end, so it ended up being 4.08 miles. The pain was a little worse that day, seeing as I came in the following day. For some reason my arms had hurt the most, which was weird because I didn't work on them at all…

UPDATE: From this point on, I had tried out and added a few things other than running on the treadmill.

I remembered I liked rowing, for some reason. There were only a couple of rowing machines, but they didn't seem to be taking up a lot of occupation time as first thought. When I first tried it, there was one of the TA's from my Econ for Accounting class. He did recognize me, remarkably, and we got into a small conversation while we were rowing. I thought he was cool because he had an eyebrow ring which, on him, you really couldn't tell it was on until you looked up at him into his eyes. Honestly, I started a conversation with him because I was a little unsure as to how to set the machine up. I just followed his lead… XD

The weight lifting areas are sometimes weird. They are packed on the second floor, but there are hardly any on the first, even though both of these areas take up the same amount of space. You'd think that people would want to exercise in peace and not in front of everyone… Well at least that was how I felt. Again, I did some exercises after watching what other people did. To me, the various weird machines and chairs and benches looked weird, like each one was supposed to serve a purpose. I just really wasn't sure what because it wasn't strikingly clear…

What I end up doing is ignoring the machines altogether and use the hand weights for the various exercises the machines would've done anyway! XD

 

I'm definitely intent on seeing this through. It feels invigorating afterward. I have this feeling of self confidence and accomplishment that I don't ordinarily get on a day to day basis. I've looked up some articles online to see what I should and shouldn't be doing. I found on one cite that I should consider this, "my new lifestyle," that you should take immediate steps to adjusting your routine to that of something healthier.

So I developed a system. After classes are over and I change into my gym clothes, I'd go to the Wellness Center and start my routine. I'd run 2-4 miles on a treadmill or elliptical, then do some stretches outside on the balcony, then work on my arms in the weightlifting area, go rowing, and then if I'm not too tired I'd run some more. Hopefully I can get my tennis racket so that I can start practicing my tennis swings.

This whole, "new lifestyle" thing is a little bit scary. It feels like I'm redefining who I am to accommodate someone who I want to be. I am definitely starting to live like a college student in that regard. I've started tightening my belt on a few things, like no more coffee shops or fast food restaurants. The result of which is literally that, I'm able to tighten my belt a little more. I've also noticed that I'm more active during the day, and I'm able to grasp concepts of my classes easier. I'm not sure if that last one has a correlation with this or not, but I still thought it was mentionable. Either way, I finally feel I'm actually doing something right for once.

 

Heh, it's funny that, now that I sweat a lot more often, my clothes are starting to smell like JT… Ah nostalgia… XD

All About Me and PostSecret

Blog No. 5: Tell All but Tell No One

I picked up a book the other day at Border's. It was called All About Me but it had no story. It had questions and blanks. The description of this text is:

With questions you not only reveal your curiosity to others, you also invite others to express their feelings, wishes, and fears; you show a genuine interest in and respect for their lives. This book is a neutral tool that allows you to comfortably ask and answer questions with friends, partners, family, colleagues, chance acquaintances—or simply with yourself…

This book is dedicated to everyone who has not asked enough questions of others, and to those who have never been asked.

—Philipp Keel

So, I figured it might be useful to help me define some of my indecisions onto pen and paper.

When I got to doing this book, it really felt like an over glorified form of a Myspace bulletin survey. However, when I got past the basic questions, (name, where were you born, what color do you usually wear), I got to the more insightful ones. What would be the first step toward resolving poverty in your opinion? How would you describe God? Death? Those types of questions I left unanswered until I fully thought about the exact answer I would give.

Then I get to these personal ones:

If your father wasn't around, who would you want to be as your father?

Describe your most romantic experience.

Who is a friend you would like to be closer to?

I know the answers to these questions. Thing is, there is something about writing them on paper that makes it more real, more official, more alive. Granted, this was my point all along. I didn't think I had unintended consequences to writing in this book. I mulled it around in my head whether or not I would actually fill in the answer that was in my mind…

So I said, "SCREW IT!" and, immediately, the book became a diary.

My rationality: In the wrong hands, people will know how to screw with my head, but, in the right hands, anyone who was curious enough to read it would know a lot more about me.

This book has some real potential.

…

Then it got me thinking…

I was recently shown a video made by the author of PostSecret of basically random people on the street telling the video camera some of their secrets. Piper had taken a couple of quotes from that video and made it her status on Facebook. I looked on to see the website, which I got kind of confused because I thought each entry was supposed to be comedic. The blog consists of actual handmade postcards from anonymous people, each with a short description of a secret or a feeling they never said out loud. Only after I reread these posts as secrets did I appreciate how inspiring this idea is.

Here are a few that I noticed:

You've been dead and buried for months now. But social networking sites won't stop reminding me that your birthday is on Saturday. I'm sorry. I love you.

I've had two girlfriends I could bring to orgasm by just licking their ears. I've lost contact with both of them.

My best friend committed suicide 13 years ago because his wife cheated on him. My wife of 13 years cheated on me this year. I forgive you both.

So I want to submit a secret.

I'm now basically in the process of trying to come up with a little design for a postcard. I feel that it might be freeing to put a visual of something that's been on my mind into simple words and images. Who knows? Maybe people will find that reading my secret would help them in some way. Maybe some of you out there will want to do this with me…

Either way, I'm curious as to what will result because of this.

Here we go!

The Frozen Popsicle and The Bitch Seat

Blog No. 4: Jason Visits

My friend Jason from high school came by to visit us here in Santa Cruz. He came all the way from Sacramento on his motorcycle, which freaked Kaylah out a little bit. When he got here, he was as cold as an ice cube and he could barely even move. Kaylah and I had to take off his gloves for him. I'm always amazed of how people can drive long distances in a motorcycle, let alone drive one period. He had to drive two hours straight on a freeway and go up and down a hilly highway to get here.

Jason is a pretty cool guy. In high school, I generally hung out with him when we had music classes. I would put him under the category of "class clown," which only makes sense after you take into account that he emulated Jim Carey for his American Artist Project. Now, he does some programming for the Blackberry which he makes quite a substantial living off of.

He has a thing for red heads… and Hayley Williams. Apparently he would do anything to see and perhaps fondle the lead singer off of Paramore. We must've watched the "Brick by Boring Brick" music video at least a dozen times.

We also watched a lot Mythbusters when I slept over at Kaylah's with him. We pretty much went through the fifth season in that entire week. I already saw most of these episodes already, so it was that much more satisfying when I got Jason to see myths, like Fainting Goats, where Kari Byron, redhead, did something surprising, i.e. strip naked for science, and got to see his reaction.

 

We all went to see Sherlock Holmes one night. I was running late to go to the movie theater and he ended up buying my ticket for me. In exchange, despite his objections, I bought him a large soda, which I sipped a few drinks off of, and a box of sour patch kids. The girl at the counter seemed familiar, so I asked if I knew her from somewhere. Joline is a student, like me and about 70% of the town, at UCSC. What I hadn't realized was that I saw her just earlier that day, working at the Kresge College mailroom. She helped me finally get my mailbox open. XD;

The movie was great. It does have a lot of fist punching and action stuff, but somehow they kept it real, even though Sherlock Holmes tends to be this perfect-in-every-way character. As Sherlock does his recap of "how they did it" we see actual flashbacks of what he saw, not anything new, which was neat because the movie makes it as if we are totally engrossed in his crazy mind. It also introduces some modern aspects of the story, like it includes the crime scene analysis as one would see on an episode of CSI, as well as a "bromance" kind of relationship between Homes and Watson. It kept the spirit of mystery alive, as well as told the story from a different angle instead of trying to please the die-hards.

Overall, I'd give 4 Out of 5 Thumbs UpàGreat to see if you want to yell out "JUST KISS ALREADY!" like I wanted to do…

Also, Terry would most definitely have a fling with Rachel MacAdams.

 

Jason had mentioned that he brought a second helmet to see if any of us wanted to ride along with him. Terry sounded interested, but he didn't want the ride. Kaylah denied it the chance on the spot. I, however, was curious as to how riding a motorcycle would feel, so I took him up on his offer. Kaylah joked about being on the "Bitch Seat," but I didn't care. I wanted to ride the motorcycle with him!

The helmet was tight around the neck, so it took a little push to get the helmet to fit on my big head. I could hear Kaylah chuckle in the background, but again I shrugged it off. When I put it on, we found out that part of the visor was missing. The helmet was hanging near the tailpipe during the ride down, so that must've been the culprit.

Anyway, I hopped on, straddling the bike and grasping my arms around Jason's waist. He gave me one bit of instruction, "Whichever way I turn, lean along with me! I know it'll be scary to do, but trust me you'll be fine!"

In my head, I was thinking, well I wasn't worried until you mentioned that! All it made me do was hold on to Jason tighter.

The engine rumbled as he turned the motorcycle on. I curled up my legs into the bike while Jason prepared for launch. Once Kaylah drove Grace out of the parking lot, we followed. Being on the motorcycle felt like being on the water. It felt very free form and, surprisingly, freeing.

"The engine makes my crotch vibrate!"

Jason shrugged. He was probably used to it.

When we came upon our first turn, I tried following his directions, but I could feel myself hesitate. As the bike leaned, I wondered how the heck a motorcycle can keep its balance in the first place. It was very scary because we leaned to the point where I could have easily just pushed my hand against the pavement, which my hand started to do out of reflex. Once I realized it, I jolted in my seat and then leaned into Jason's back. Once the turn was over, we made a stop behind Grace. After that initial moment of fear, I felt like I could just as easily drive a motorcycle if I wanted to. XD

We rode from Kaylah's place to Gigi's, following Grace along the way. I had gotten the hang of leaning in close to Jason as he turned the motorcycle left or right. The ride was wonderful. It felt very natural, yet unsettling. I'm used to the comfortable and safe shell of a car's frame. It's definitely a weird feeling when you don't have the barrier of a car between you and the other cars.

I tried to sit myself up so that I wasn't totally leaning against Jason the entire ride. I could feel half of my face becoming frozen because of the broken visor. Being paranoid as I was, I fumbled through my pockets every once in awhile, like I'd normally do, one hand at a time to make sure I had everything, just in case nothing slipped out. I noticed that Jason was wondering what the heck I was doing as he turned his head behind him. I think from our entire ride, we must've topped at least 50 mph.

The House—(Motorcycle)àGigi's

Once we pulled into the parking lot and parked, I felt a huge rush of energy run through my body. I instantly regretted not raising my hands above my head during the trip like a roller coaster ride.

I definitely need to learn how to ride a motorcycle one of these days. XD

2 ½ x 3 Kaitlyns and Awesome Blogs

Blog No. 3: Actually Moving Into Kresge and First Day of Classes

Monday morning, we woke up very early to try and move everything in all at once with the first trip. The night before, we packed up almost everything into Kaylah's car. Only my laundry basket of clothes, piano, saxophone, and printer didn't fit, which is surprising because Grace, Kaylah's car, is very very very very small.

The first thing we did was drive to this little red kiosk at the base of campus, in order to purchase a parking permit that will allow Grace to be parked at a very close parking lot. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Apparently the lady at the booth said that the computers cannot bring up the information for undergraduates…

So we drove a little further to the TAPS office. Thing was, there was a line at that building that went out the door. The only close by, available parking was at the entrance, which was full. What we had to do was Kaylah had to stand in that cumbersome line, while I sat in the driver's seat, wait at the stop sign for anyone to pull out of a parking spot so that I can park Grace without getting a ticket. When I parked Grace, about 15 minutes of country music later, I walked to where Kaylah was in line. After we entered in the building, there was a person who said that they would help us because Kaylah has done this before. So we skipped ahead of the line to a door, where Kaylah was being processed on the computer. Thing is, Kaylah had already purchased her Remote parking pass and could not purchase a temporary one. We had to call the TAPS main office, leave a message with Grace's license plate number, and leave a little piece of paper saying "DO NOT CITE" on Kaylah's dashboard.

This part took all of an hour to do, all for a piece of paper. That was very much a time waster… DX

Then we ran to the Kresge housing office to pick up my dorm key and to actually see which room I was in. Joao, the housing director, is a pretty laid back guy. Let's just say that he would be the face of what UCSC's reputation would look like… Kaylah knew him through her job as a community assistant, so they were palling around. Usually, the new residents get a care package, like papers and stuff about the campus as well as the room keys. When I opened my folder up, all I got were the keys, which meant that I had to walk everywhere to get my ID, my mailbox, and any other helpful information. Way to be on the ball. XD

So, after we got the keys, Kaylah and I, as well as the compact car full of stuff, drove to Kresge East. Just as Audrey predicted, I got the third floor. Just as Kaylah predicted, I got the only single available, which happened to be in the apartment where one of Jackson's friends, Nicholas, lived.

When we walked into the apartment, I could feel my jaw just drop. The living room area was really big. Walking into this apartment, you get the living room on the right, which walks into a nice sized kitchen area. You also get the hallway of four rooms and a center sink divider, where the bathrooms split between shower and toilet. My room is the first one accessible from the front door. I walked in and I finally saw it. My room. My home away from home. My new home.

I figure the room ought to be around two and a half by three Kaitlyns big—that's right, I measure by Amazons. Screw you metric system! I'd think you could take Kaylah's old room at Kresge and double it and you'd get the size of my room. You walk in and there's a big sliding door closet to the right and a small desk to the left. The bed would be straight in front of you against the base of the window, right next to the bedside bookshelf. The dresser of three drawers sat at the foot of the bed. I couldn't have asked for a better space!

So we started unpacking. One by one, we carried the random bags up to my room, including the duffel, the more-than-16 lbs bag, the backpack, the basket of blankets, and many "green" bags full of random stuff. When we got to the storage bins, we figured we would try and take them both at the same time. They both weighed a lot. What we did was we took the little cart with the bungee cords and hooked the stacked bins to it. I pulled the cart, Kaylah pushed. We were only able to get up the hill when my hand started to hurt from the top bin scraping it. I decided to carry that up the stairs real quick just so that I wouldn't have that scraping my hand all the way up to the third floor.

Suddenly, I hear a big BOOM ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk –slide- PICHUU! ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk BAM! So I rushed outside to see what the noise was and to see if Kaylah was alright. Kaylah, the blonde that she is, had apparently rolled the large bin up to the second to last step to the second floor when she lost balance and clutched the cart, which in return released the bin from the bungee cords, making it slide down all those stairs and sprawl out its contents on the ground floor. Kaylah, other than nearly peeing her pants, suffered no harm, thankfully.

The rest of the unpacking and setting up went smoothly.

Meeting my roommates didn't take place until later that night. They weren't there when all the commotion was going on in my room. I wondered where they had been and I was nervous as to meeting them. When I walked in that night, they were circled around a table just talking. At first impressions, they were not all that mischievous looking, so I walked up and greeted them all with a handshake.

Tony and Nicholas are the gamers in this apartment. Nick was the one that helped me a little bit with trying to find my classes. Tony also took interest and would normally pop into my room if he felt inclined to ask something.

Alex and I are a lot alike. We're both musicians, trying to find our spot where our puzzle piece fits into in this world, we like the same music, we both talk about the same things. Thing is, he was also talking to me about a friend's party he went to, where he was pretty much drunk that entire night. The list pretty much ends there.

The next day, I also met my CA, Katherine. During a nap, I hear a knock on the door. So I woke up and walked to the living room, where I saw this curly haired chick. She was very peppy and inviting from what I could tell. The CA is basically a person I would turn to if I had any questions or if I had any problems. Katherine was very welcoming and basically gave her introduction. Apparently, Kaylah know Katherine from when Kaylah had the CA job. So, sometime in the coming weeks, I'm going to go and talk to her.

 

As far as classes go, I'm pretty psyched:

My Econ for Accounting class starts at 8 AM, right about when I really don't want to be awake. However, after the first day, I felt that I could handle it. The teacher, Mallory, is very into her job. She looks and talks very much like a butch lesbian with white hair. Her lectures are fun and are very easy to follow, even though she goes through them very quickly.

Two hours and a breakfast later, my Intermediate Macroeconomics starts. The teacher, I'll call Borscht, is also one of the teachers that loves his job. He has a thick, almost Russian accent and uses the words "awesome" and "blog" a lot. He also repeats himself, not to undermine us, but for clarification. So I giggled when I noticed the accent when he was trying to say "Mankiw's AWEsome Blog" a few times, or when it almost sounds like a parody impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger. XD

The Introduction to American Studies follows twenty minutes later, on the count of it being a big campus and I would have to sprint to class if it weren't. Our teacher, Kim Lau, would… to put it bluntly… be my idea of a PILF, and possibly Dustin's, too. She, too, is passionate about her subject, which is fine, but she also likes to try and open doors for people. She has us watching Michael Moore documentaries and read excerpts of Obama's book, so she'll have a unique take on this course that I can get involved with.

Discussions start this week, which are basically optional/required free tutoring/laboratory hours for each of the classes. All of my classes fall on a MWF pattern with two hour-long discussions on Tuesdays and one in the morning on Thursdays. Within all of this, I am going to work in a gym schedule. Our gym, or "Wellness Center", has the most gorgeous view of the ocean, so when I go on the treadmills I can bask in the ocean breeze.

So yeah… That's how it is so far.

Tumblr: The Small Moments

Blog No. TUMBLR: I Have a Tumblr

The Small Moments.

Yes.

I have cheated on you Blogger.

To you readers out there, I just would like to let you know that I started another blogging website. You can simply type [rabbiman.tumblr.com] or, you know, click any of the links you see on this blog.

(I'll warn you though, one of them is a fake. I'd go with the typing it in the search bar if I were you.)

Basically, I go to that blog for the small stuff. If there's something that stuck out during the day that needed to be blogged, but seemed to awkward to write it in this form, I go to my Tumblr and post on there. I've already started a few of those. Some photos, some videos, some quotes, some conversations, all that can now be found on there. I've also started posting some links on there whenever I update this blog.

Have fun!

Not Goodbye

Blog No. 2: Moving to Santa Cruz

It's official. I'm moved into my room.

I've decorated.

Sunday was a very emotional day, overall.

I stayed up until 3 AM, moving my bags and bins downstairs and compressing the amount of stuff I'm taking—granted I could've been done earlier if I wasn't trying to distract myself from my packing and my emotions by watching an NCIS marathon and talking to Taylor online. I've literally divided my room in half, taking only half of my instruments, half of my clothes, half of my books, etc. Here I'm thinking I'll have one or two bins and a few bags to carry along with me. Then I start looking down the list, adding some essentials that I haven't thought of, like hangers and boots. Before I know it, I end up packing two very full bins, a laundry basket of clothes, two "green" bags of bath towels and other miscellaneous stuff, a laundry basket of two blankets, a laundry bag of shoes, my formal wear in a hanger bag, a sleeping bag, my keyboard, Slanket, a trash can, a duffel bag of more miscellaneous stuff, two of mom's last minute bags, some new pillows, and Kaylah's care package from her mom. The van did not have much floor room once I packed everything in it.

As a result of staying up late, I woke up two hours later than I intended. Realizing this, I quickly ran into the shower and got ready, only to discover that only John and the baby were up downstairs, both still in their pajamas.

A few minutes later, Audrey woke up and walked downstairs to take care of the baby. She told me that she hasn't told Lennox that I was moving… That I had to tell him that I would be gone for awhile. I thought on it and tears already started welling up in my eyes. Seeing as I was in front of Audrey, I tried dismissing the tears and distract myself from them, but I knew she noticed them. She could always notice them.

She then walked upstairs, leaving me alone with the baby. I held him in my arms, almost hugging him. I stood with him in front of the bathroom mirror, like I usually do when he fusses, and saw the both of us in that glass. I saw my bloodshot eyes, my forced smile above my quivering chin trying to contain it all in. I leaned against the doorframe, making Lennox lean back a little to see my face. The little bugger stared at me for a second, gave me a super cute smile, and fell back on my chest, resting his arms on my shoulders.

John came downstairs and I handed Lennox off to him. I stood aside to recover from that moment and walked upstairs to tally up anything else that I needed. After Audrey got out of the shower, she, John, and Lennox left for the apartment in their red car. John drove back in the van for me to pack my stuff. Then we drove back to the apartment, where I saw my mom, still content with a brave face on.

My aunt had heard the door open and close to the apartment, taking that as my arrival. She walked into my mom's room where I stood. I bent lower as I embraced her for a few seconds. She gave me a few blueberry muffins that she made that morning, then left to go shopping. With this embrace, I felt only a small urge for tears, not because I would miss her less, but because I felt that we had this unspoken understanding. That embrace basically said, "Not goodbye. We will see each other later." I speak hug. XD

Later, when everything was packed and what not, we all took a trip to Panera, the bread place that Kaylah and I usually go to for our lunches. I got a chicken frontega panini, which was pretty good, (minus the onions). I also ventured next door to the It's A Grind, where I got myself a black cherry mocha. It was pretty tasty. The purpose of Panera was to have a one last time hangout before I left to be together as a family, the five of us enjoying a meal and casually chatting about mundane things. It was nice.

After that lunch, we all headed back to the apartment, where all the real emotion welled up.

Mom and I realized that it was finally getting to be goodbye, so I could feel the both of us trying to fight back our tears. We could barely speak. The both of us just mainly hugged each other, one last time, and just fought the urge to stay that way. After she hugged me, she took my face in her hands and landed a big motherly kiss on my cheek, followed by an even more tearful hug.

My mom grabbed Lennox from John. Then my mom held Lennox's hand up to wave goodbye. When she let go, he was still waving, not much, but just enough.

So much for staying strong through this…

John and Audrey headed to the van, where I followed, trying to hide my bloodshot eyes. The emotion was shrugged off as I tried joking around with John while he was getting ready to drive. In the van, we just basically remained quiet. All you could hear were the sounds of the annoying Tom Tom and mixed music mixes from Disney and emo bands blasting from the van stereo. I thought this was a good time as any to finish writing some of my blogs.

The drive went over pretty well. It only took about two and a half hours, where the last half hour consisted of a very swervy, hilly road. When we arrived off the exit, I started to recognize some of the Santa Cruz landmarks, like the big River Street sign where Gigi's was located. A few streets later, we arrived at the little village complex thing, where I knocked on the familiar door, for the first time as a Santa Cruz resident.

Terry answered the door and welcomed me. I beckoned him over to the van, where I introduced him to Audrey and John before we started moving my stuff into the house. Terry, John, and I moved all of my stuff back into the house, which only took about three trips to do. When you look at the sheer volume of stuff, however, it seems like a lot.

Audrey and John were looking at Kaylah's place for the first time, so they were observing random things I haven't pointed out before, like how there are quite a few pictures of cats on the walls. XD

After a phone call to mom and Lennox, the four of us decided to go on and venture Santa Cruz as a whole. Terry and I showed Audrey and John the view from the hill behind their housing complex. From that height, you could literally see the Santa Cruz Boardwalk "Drop-Zone" ride.

John then drove the four of us through campus by Terry's directions. We basically made a circle around campus to the main buildings, the gist of where I would be hanging out the most. We found our way to the Kresge East apartments, where we all hopped out and looked from outside. These apartments are NOT like the ones Kaylah had lived in. The buildings are of a different architecture. The dorms were taller, green, and had a log cabin feel to them. I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that, but all I could care about was where I was going to sleep. I really wanted to sneak into my room to see what it looked like, but I still had no idea where I was bunking…

Audrey had commented that she never realized how woodsy the campus was, even though I tell people that the campus is on a hill in the middle of the woods. I shrug. Both Audrey and John liked the campus anyway. All the way around, John and Terry were talking about random video game and comic stuff, just like I predicted they would. XD

Then, John drove us to Kaylah's work at Gigi's. Kaylah came out from the kitchen to say hello. She seemed really overworked, like she usually did. She warned us that she still had about an hour or two left of work. Audrey and John still wanted something to eat, so I gave them the idea of Erik's Café, Piper's and my choice of restaurant.

John did not want to drive anymore, seeing as he had to drive all of those hills and roads all day. I wouldn't blame him, though I wondered whether or not Audrey would be up to the walking because we were really walking out of our way to the restaurant. They seemed fine with it… So, the four of us walked to downtown Santa Cruz. Audrey and John were gazing at all of the random shops down the one street.

When we arrived, I thought it had closed already. Fortunately, when I walked up to the door, it wasn't the case. I got my usual Abbot's Habit sandwich with tomato bisque soup. I remember John got this holiday sandwich that could only be described as Thanksgiving leftovers packed into a sandwich. Audrey liked her sandwich, but was a little disappointed with the chocolate "meltdown" cake as it wasn't gushing chocolate fudge like the picture showed us it would.

Afterwards, Terry got Kaylah something to go and then we walked back to Kaylah's work. This was where I said goodbye to Audrey and John. This goodbye wasn't at all emotional, probably because I was in front of company that haven't seen me in tears yet. Audrey did give me a hug, which I noticed I haven't really ever gotten in my adulthood. John gave me the awkward, "brother-in-law" hug as he called it. XD

All in all, it was a very emotional day. I did feel that Kaylah radiated a lot more excitement that day then I ever did. I kinda figured that was why she asked if I was genuinely excited to be moving in.

I am. I really am. I just feel that if I show some excitement, some sadness might've also escaped.