Trusting the Tiger

Blog No. WHATEV: Kayaking

An excerpt of JT’s journey as notated by JT:

…So it came to be that I got on the road late on a Saturday to once again travel this land, the destination: The college of Sai-err... Right, UC Santa Cruz... I didn't make it, not with my sagging eyes; I pulled along a small stream and rested awhile letting the cool air rush past me in the night. As the sun chased the night, hinting at its presence with a small horizonal glow, I once again rose and continued my journey finding the horse I sought... my multi-day adventure was just beginning... but finally, I got to sleep. The story continues now however, and as such I must bid you goodbye oh souls of the net. Until our paths next cross, fair-well and peace be upon your soul!

Guess who the horse is.

JT said he was going to arrive at a late hour, so I stayed up… Little did I know that he would pull over to the side of the road and snooze for a couple of hours and then arrive on campus at six in the morning!

After I gave him directions to the parking garage, I gave him a huge hug and walked him to my apartment, where the both of us plopped down on my bed to sleep. His phone kept going off, so I didn’t sleep the entire time. JT, however, the sleeping beauty that he is, slept through his most annoying alarms. I had to climb over him and fall off the bed to turn off his phone. When I returned to the bed, however, I find that he laid fully onto his back, taking up the bed. Trying to salvage some sleep, I just decided to lay on JT and close my eyes for the following three hours.

At noon, I woke up with JT snoring at my face, so I slowly got out of bed to log online. I talked with Dustin for awhile when I saw the time. I wanted to wake JT up at a reasonable hour, somewhere between a decent night’s rest and enough daylight time before our kayaking class. So, I took a brief shower and made some coffee to stall for some time while JT slept. I woke him up at 1:30 with much difficulty.

We walked around downtown for a few hours. We went into the Ohm Gallery, the lantern store for those not privy. JT took interest at all the spiritual stuff and the wall scrolls with quotes on them. We were in that store for awhile, JT looked for some oriental clothing, and I observed. So, pretty much a normal shopping day with anyone I shop with, which was odd because I didn’t expect it to be that similar when I was with JT.

We also walked into Serpent’s Kiss, the spiritual store with a bunch of stones, scents, and other miscellaneous Wiccan stuff. He had walked in with something in mind, something that was made of amethyst or the like. I just looked at pendants with other people in mind.

I led him to Gigi’s, where I introduced him to the Blondie. There, we decided to eat some lunch. Kaylah walked out and talked with us for a few minutes. The tallest person I know and the second shortest person I know in one sitting. I had brought up Piper’s excursion with alcohol on her birthday, where Piper described the Midori drink to Kaylah. Midori seemed the most appealing to her and asked me to relay the message to JT to bring her some. I told her that the drink was in the trunk of JT’s car and she got excited.

Kaylah was trying to give us directions, but she didn’t exactly know where to find the kayaking place. After a few texts and some Blonde confusion, I found out that the place we were to meet everyone was on the wharf by the boardwalk, which I thought it was all along.

~

During most of our extended conversation, JT explains that there are different levels of wants. There’s the “passionate” level of want, and the “semi-interested” level of want. Those who want things on a “passionate” kind of level will stop at nothing to get what they desire, despite any obstacles they may face. Those who want on a “semi-interested” level will allow any obstacle as an excuse of getting out of it. These people will find themselves putting up roadblocks for various reasons. In their choice of not going through with their desires, they choose what they think they should be saying as an excuse for not following through.

In the case of Piper, as JT puts it, is that she chose to victimize herself by putting up roadblocks that prevent her from making her desired choice. Although this probably wasn’t intentional, she had tried to put JT’s and my feelings at ease when she complained that she was being held back instead of going with JT on this trip. In the case of Kaylah, if she really wanted to try Midori in the first place, she wouldn’t have easily let us go like that and had us over to hang out instead of deciding to go to bed early. With JT’s logic, I could just as easily take to face that everyone I invited to visit me during the quarter didn’t have a strong enough desire to come over in the first place…

I agree to a point.

While it may be true that if Piper really wanted to go to Santa Cruz with JT, she could’ve just as easily did everything in her power to ignore the complaints. However, coming from a different perspective, Piper would see “being tied down by excuses” as meeting and prioritizing obligations by placing other people’s needs and wants before her own. Kaylah, although she expressed extreme interest to try the Midori, she decided to put herself above everything else that night to try and be healthier. To everyone else, I don’t know. Maybe they don’t intend on visiting me anytime soon, but they could just as easily be prioritizing their needs over their wants and leave me in the dark as a result.

To my conclusion, I’ve decided to stop bugging everyone about coming to visit. They know they have a spot on my bed if they want to sleep over, but I’m not going to push them anymore. If they really wanted to come over, they would’ve done so already…

We choose to do everything or nothing, whether or not we see it… Like my unconscious choice of not telling my mom that I planned to go kayaking with JT off the Santa Cruz Wharf.

It wouldn’t have been a huge deal if I didn’t know how to swim.

Admittedly, JT questioned my logic for going through with it. Basically, I felt that I was safe, so long as I had someone with me who knew his way around the water, (hence, with JT’s sailing experience and swimming capabilities, I was in the safest hands possible). Of course, I had asked my CA, Kim, to see if I needed any swimming or ocean experience, to which she replied, “No, I don’t think so. If it did, I wouldn’t be planning this event because I’m super afraid of the ocean!” So I wasn’t alone.

“So you trust me?” JT said, after explaining my logic. “Well, you know this shows that I am trustworthy.”

I chuckled. His statement came from a previous conversation of ours about trust. “I chose to trust you.” I said.

I don’t make this kind of decision lightly.

After walking and talking on the wharf, JT and I arrived at our checkpoint, where we stashed our stuff and put on our wet suits and life vests. After our quick tutorial about paddling and worse case scenarios, (which didn’t comfort me at all), JT and I walked down to the kayak. I sat down in front, while JT held control of the rudder in the back.

It felt so weird. I didn’t like feeling that I wasn’t on solid ground. I felt my legs and back tense up. However, after paddling for awhile and a few dozen assurances from JT, I started getting the hang of it. In fact, after a few donuts in the water, I felt the nervousness slip away. This was the most spontaneous and excited I felt in a long time! It didn’t even bother me that JT, predictably, steered us numerous times to collide with the other kayaks to test my bravery.

JT’s foot pedals, the ones that steered the kayak, were bothering him. Being the tall person that he is, his feet would fall asleep whenever he concentrated on the foot work. So I got a little nervous when he decided to bring up the rudder, leaving us to steer manually with the paddles for the rest of the time.

There was another two person kayak that kept following us. I recognized them from around Kresge East, but I didn’t know their names. These guys kept asking for a race to the point where they taunted us. Taunted JT.

Taunting JT? Not a good idea.

So we raced a few times. JT kept repeating behind me, “Remember: strong, smooth strokes! Gain that momentum!” They unleashed the tiger. We lost one race, but we won a few more.

In between bravery highs and freaking out moments, we kayaked around a huge bed of kelp and seaweed. One of the kayaking instructors threw a snail at us. The snail landed in the water, which splashed in my face. I grabbed the snail, which had smaller snails riding on the back of it, and handed it to JT. The snail rode with us the rest of the trip.

We also saw a baby otter lying on the mother otter’s stomach and a head of a sea lion poking out of the water. The sea lion was so close, we almost crashed into it. It was those kinds of moments I wished I had invested in a waterproof camera.

Then, we kayaked further out to see where the waves got rougher. The surfers were present in partaking to these waves closer to the rocky shore. We sailed along, one wave after another raising our kayak and splashing back down as it passed. JT kept asking how I was doing the entire time, and I kept assuring him that I was okay. A few more strokes and we rowed to the big rock, where we saw a bunch of lazy, migratory sea lions piling on top of each other. There were brown ones and blonde ones. They were so cute! I was glad that we went out of the way to see them.

On the ride back, we had the option of sailing back depending on how strong the wind was. The instructors had expected the winds to die down, but the winds did just the opposite. I bungeed my paddle to the kayak and pulled out the sail. I pretty much followed everyone else’s lead in reigning in the wind. JT kept instructing from behind, “Brace yourself with the sail! Try and steer the wind in our direction!” With no rudder, JT steered us using brute force against the increasing waves. The entire time we were sailing, I felt like the kayak would tip over at any minute. JT warned me of this from the get go. So, as uncomfortable I was clenching the sail in both my hands, I tried to level myself into a complacent balance as we raced across the waves back to the pier.

When we arrived back at the dock, JT felt that he could rock and tip the kayak back and forth, seeing as he did plenty of that once the wind died down. I felt impressed that I could balance myself that well, especially after JT remarked about how well I was doing. After we helped put all the equipment back, JT and I grabbed a couple of burritos and retired back at my place.

I offered a few DVD’s to watch. He picked out Star Trek just so that he can trash it to pieces while I was watching. I wanted to see how “bad” it was, so I agreed.

~

Movie Review: Star Trek

It was bad.

I’m by no means a Trekkie, but from what back story I know, even I agreed this movie was bad.

There was no room for character growth and it seemed that the story line was based off of a million different impossibilities at once, (to which JT pointed out every single one). Kirk, after a bar fight, ends up being called to the academy among all the other space cadets. This Kirk is a jerk; a stereotypical, boob-grabbing, hiding-in-my-tightie-whities-under-the-bed type of jerk. Then there was a twist in the story: Spock and Aurora being romantically entangled. I didn’t expect that one. I thought Spock had tried to become an emotionless being like the rest of his people. What about Aurora? I thought she was supposed to be romantically entangled with Kirk later down the line. I got so confused, so I just thought that, whatever the writer’s were doing, they weren’t going to stay with any original story arc. It’s something I can allow if they can do it well.

However, it got to a point in the movie where I said it was enough. After Kirk gets exiled onto a frozen ice planet, running away from big, bigger, biggest monsters, in comes the real Spock. The old Spock from the TV series. After hearing the detail as to why he was there, (something about red matter, black holes, Rimulon being destroyed, and time travel), I saw that the writers had to have created a story feasible enough to include as much of Leonard Nimoy in the movie as possible.

It reminded me of the Transformer movies in so many ways. To my surprise, JT showed me an internet review which revealed that both the Transformer and Star Trek movies were written by the same writers.

The only thing I could see redeeming this movie was the stellar visual effects. They show so much potential! But with no redeemable characters, a nonsense storyline filled with fate and destiny, and nothing memorable to show for the plot and villain, the effects just lessens the blow of an overall horrible movie.

My Final Review: 1 Out of 5 Thumbs Up –> This was NOT my mom’s Star Trek.

~

In the end of it all, I semi-confronted JT because I felt uncomfortable with making decisions on the trip that he was supposed to have. I wanted to say, “You’re the guest, you make the decisions.”

But, as if he read my mind, he preemptively said, “I made my choices. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t choose to come here, right?” Aww… “I came here for your punk ass, didn’t I?”

I guess only fire can bend metal. But then again, I don’t think I would have it any other way.

The Love Shack

Lost Blog 4: April Visit

On a recent trip to Sacramento, we celebrated my nephew, Lennox’s, birthday. The venue, of course, was Chuck E Cheese. It seems to be a tradition in the family that started with my sister to have the kid’s birthdays have some big production to involve everyone crawling out of the woodwork.

Audrey’s memories of childhood birthdays were always the block party setup. When my mom lived in an apartment across the street from the park, she would orchestrate some large party that would sometimes involve the entire building, where the kids played in the park and the parents congregated by the BBQ. It seemed like the way to do it. After my mom moved, however, we ended up living in the condo on Florin, a bigger home they moved into for me.

At Lennox’s party, I saw a bunch of my relatives that I haven’t seen since my last family reunion event… Which I think was Audrey’s wedding… Anyway, it still felt weird. I remember having my birthdays at the same kind of place, where I just goofed around and enjoyed myself in the games. Now that I have graduated into adulthood, I walked amongst the crew behind the scenes, (setting tables, watching kids, socializing with adults), in other words, not my usual forte. So much has changed, like the original 3 children, (me, my cousin Ruben, and Audrey), had grown and more children have arrived. Ruben is off serving the country, I’m off at college, and my sister is now the mom. The new generation of adults is formed.

I wouldn’t be this nostalgic at all if I wasn’t reminded of it with every aunt, uncle, family friend, and child kept reminding me of it. They always bring up how small and puny I was, then how much I grew and filled out, and now how I’ve grown and lost weight. I don’t really feel it. I’ve been in school for as long as I can remember, doing the same kind of thing. No big deal to me.

So I tried to stay away from the family as much as I could. The one sure fire way to do this was preoccupy myself with a job I was legendary for: Collecting tickets. My mom ordered the family pack of tokens, a great number of which was given to me to spend wherever the tickets were. I hopped back and forth between machines, playing the game of chance and observing jackpots up until the point I got a few of my own. By the end of the day, I landed 2423 tickets.

After the party, I was supposed to meet up with Dustin somewhere unbeknownst to me. I figured out he was at a Firestone pretty close by, so I said for him to come and pick me up. After some phone calls and confusion, I waved my family goodbye and proceeded to wait for Dustin on the curb. I decided to walk down the road to see where I was in relation to the Sunrise Mall. It turns out that the Firestone where Dustin was at was literally in the same parking lot as the Chuck E Cheese. I got the phone call of his arrival, he was at the Chuck E Cheese. We walked across the parking lot and hugged each other upon our intersection point.

We got into the car and drove to Dustin’s sister’s house. His dad and his brother were there fixing up a truck while the sister lounged on the couch in the garage. Apparently I made the brother jealous because I had my goatee. Looking at the guys, there was the dad with a full beard, Dustin with a stubbly beard, me with my goatee, and the brother, bare. Dustin’s family kind of reminded me of some old neighbors I hung out with during my youth at 3613.

Rex needed something at the Autozone, so Dustin drove the four of us on a quick trip. Dustin and I hung out in the car while Rex and Alex went inside. Dustin and I hung out and talked about random things. We observed a guy with a Jafar goatee messing with his cell phone. We joked about how he might be sexting, an unlimited sexting plan, the usual.

After that trip, Dustin and I went to Folsom and saw Patric’s family. They fed us really good lasagna and salad, Dustin consuming twice as much as I had. Then, Dustin took a shower while I trolled around on their computer. I started Tumbling on Dustin’s account when he walked in with only a towel. I typed up the blog, “Jafar, Up to No Good” where Dustin read parts of it over my shoulder, obliviously unaware it was his account.

~

We were meeting a few of their friends at the Lollicup in Roseville to watch the talent show. My previous Lollicup experience didn’t turn out to well. It was when Taka took us on the day of a concert and I almost choked on boba in the tea. However, I wanted to go to the talent show because I remembered my friends, the Matutis clan, had performed here as well and I wanted to see their competitors. Last time, I had the strawberry milk tea, which was okay but the boba threw off the taste. This time around, I tried an almond milk tea without boba. It was very good, considering it was just almond and milk.

Dustin, Patric, and I were waiting until Charlene, Valerie, Jennifer, and Rachel arrive. Char and Val are sisters, Jen and Rachel are sisters, but they are all related, (Filipino families, go figure). I met Char and Val on a number of occasions, but Jen and Rachel were new. They all seemed pretty cool. Jen and Rachel seemed as much of a spaz as Char, so it was all good.

Charlene’s performance was pretty good. She sang a few songs on the keyboard while Valerie took a bunch of photos.

There was a girl, Sam, who needed to be egged on by the entire establishment to go and perform. She did an original poetry reading. You could tell she was nervous because she started sputtering her words until they came like a barrage of bullets in your face. I couldn’t get most of the words, unfortunately.

Then there were these three singers, Mona, Jenna, and… (forgetting name)… Francis Bacon. The three of them did some amazing songs and blended harmonies really well. I was impressed by Jenna, leading the group with her singing and piano playing. She also ended up doing piano for another guy… (forgetting name)… Moshark… And they did some renditions of popular songs. Hell, she did “I’m Yours” with him on guitar.

The rest of the night went pretty much like that. We enjoyed each other’s company and helped clean up after the talent show was all done. More of Dustin’s and Patric’s friends arrived near the end of the shindig. We all started goofing around in the parking lot, dancing, cuddling up to Dustin’s bosoms, the usual. Then we all started to leave to our cars, all three of them parked up right next to each other. Somehow, it ended up being crazy to the point where the three cars rolled down their windows and started blasting Kelly Clarkson on the radio. It was fan-frikken-tastic. XD

The three of us then started driving out of Roseville. Patric, in the backseat, started talking about their Jackson Rancheria weekend where Matt needed to go really bad while they were driving to the point where Matt grabbed an empty can of soda and a pillow and just peed in front of everyone. Patric, the lovely sheep that he is, started to do the same thing. He couldn’t get the pillow just right and apparently it had hurt because he was yelling very loudly. He didn’t go through with it, not that I wanted him to in the first place…

Then Love Shack played on the radio while we were at an intersection. Dustin and I sung out the lyrics, but apparently Patric didn’t recognize the song. What he ended up doing was rolling down his window and yelling at a car next to us. He was yelling, “Hey! Love Shack is on the radio! Hey why are you ignoring me!?” Dustin drove past them as fast as he could after that. XD

We decided to pick up Matt, so we drove to his place and knocked on his window. He was hungry so we decided to go to In n Out, (after Patric took a quick trip to the bathroom of course). Matt was always one to complain about his lactose intolerance, but, for some odd reason, he always ends up with the milkshakes. We hung out for an hour, talking about random stuff, force feeding each other’s food, and making Kirby faces on the paper ketchup cups. It got to a late hour where I needed to go home.

At the apartment, Matt gave me a wonderful back massage. I usually don’t let anyone do anything to my back, but I made an exception because, in my mind, I justified it as something that was long overdue. However, it had gotten so comfortable that I almost fell forward into the street. Then, they showed me this funny video on Patric’s iPhone of how Abraham Lincoln’s murder was justified in the end. I would’ve never guessed that Abe was so gangster to the point of insanity. XP

After an awkward hug, (from the front, behind, and below), I said my farewell… Until Dustin decided to use the bathroom. We snuck into my apartment where it was all dark but dimly lit by night lights. I had to take Dustin by the hand and show him the bathroom. After that, another awkward hug ensued, and then, as they were walking out, Patric dropped his pants and waddled outside to the car… Oh what the neighbors must think… And I was getting to like them, too. XD

The Traveling Monk

Lost Blog 1: Good

I was walking home from Cowell dining hall the other day, thinking for some reason that I was overdue for something odd to happen. Indeed, as odd as I thought of it, it happened.

Walking through the path of pink trees and the breeze of pink petals, I bumped into a squinty eyed bald man wearing red and orange robes, carrying a large bag over his shoulder and wheeling a large suitcase. He walked up to me and asked if I were a student here.

No, I’m backpacking through Europe and took a wrong turn at the Coliseum. “Why yes, I am.”

“Oh okay, I’m glad I ran into you. I’m a traveling monk on a mission to spread the word of enlightenment.”

The monk handed me a thick orange book with a picture of a chariot on the front. Bhagavad Gita: As It Is as it’s titled. It had a picture of someone resembling Ghandi on the back, which I assume to be the author.

“I sense some imbalance in your life,” the monk declared, “Might I ask what is wrong?”

Nosy bald stranger… “I guess I lack sleep. I am a student after all!” I chuckled dryly.

“Minor troubles sometimes mask even deeper struggles you have not yet recognized.”

“What do you mean?”

He talked a little about how everything around us and everything we do is connected on an abstract level. I listened attentively and began wondering why I had this bitter mood. No one notices it on the surface, but sometimes I carry around a bitter companion, a critic, an unwanted shoulder angel in my head… (I’m not crazy I swear!) But I questioned in my mind whether or not I was a good person to let these thoughts sneak through.

But before I reflected on the subject, the monk surprised me: “You seem like a good person.”

“Really? Even though I seemed bitter and cranky?” I gave a wry smile.

“Goodness isn’t decided on what we say or do, but on what drives us to do them.”

With that, I reached in my left pocket. The only bill I have is a 20. Are you seriously giving that away? “Here.”

“Why thank you! I’m glad I ran into you today.” The monk smiled.

He was probably going to ask for a donation anyway. “Well, it seems you have a long way to go, don’t you?” I chuckled, awkwardly, swatting my hand above my shoulder.

I looked at the book some more and decided to hand it back, but the monk refused, “Keep it. Consider it my thanks.”

And with that, I took his hand and shook it.

“Good luck on your journey.”

Am I that good person?