Blog No. 40: Close Calls
This poor guy in Piano... Piper will know who I'm talking about.
Today in Piano, we had to do our performance pieces. It was partly the real reason why I went to school last Friday, (refer to blog conveniently named: School on a Friday). I don't have a touch sensitive keyboard, none remotely close to the ones we use in class. The touch sensitive keyboards are required for expressing dynamic levels in the music. It sounds that much better with one than without. To remedy this, I practice my piano at school. But I never really make the time for it during my normal breaks. Hence, "School on a Friday."
Anyways, there's this guy, whose name escapes me unfortunately, who absolutely did not want to do the piano performance today in front of the class. He was behind me, but I could really sense that he was nervous by the couple of times I looked at him. He did not perform today. He would've been the last one, but he had to excuse himself from class, apparently he was really close to vomiting...
Ew... *gags*
I have the phobia of vomiting, whether it be from someone else's mouth or my own.
On the one hand, I felt that I should stay far away from him, like when he was coming back into the classroom as we were walking out, I was contemplating on pushing Piper, or Heidi, or anyone in front of me, in between me and him, having at least one body hindering that... weirdness. I know its irrational, but I still feared that "what if?" factor.
On the other, less gross hand, I felt sorry for him. From his bravado, I would not have guessed that he was that uncomfortable in front of people. Yet, something Heidi said reminded me of way back, when prepubescent David was that weird in front of crowds.
Flashbacking to my first clarinet recital in elementary school. Everyone who took the music lessons during lunch had to perform a musical piece to the parents at Parent's Night. The teacher gave me a song to play on the clarinet, completely solo. The only one to have a solo at that. Don't ask me why, I did not know the answer, but apparently I was the only one good enough. I felt very much the same way he did, only add the verge of tears and the fetal position. But I still ended up pulling off the song at the concert. How? She hugged me. This was way back when hugs were taboo and crushes develop into Jacob Black stories, (too long a story to go into now). Somehow that hug just reeled me back into my body and lift those fears away.
So that's what I did. I hugged him. It was completely out of character, I was cringing a little bit, and I know that it won't nearly have the same affect as it did me, (what with him not crushing on me... hopefully), but I hope it helped. It certainly helped me a little. XD
What-To-Do-To-Distract-Me-From-My-Phobia To Do List:
- Make "flashbacking" a word.
- Pull a Taka and bold (not italicize) all prepositions referring to the dude in Piano.
- Watch the Big Bang Theory.
- Rant a lot about a random childhood experience that hasn't been thought of in awhile.
- Sleep.
I've done 1-4. Time for 5.
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