Blog No. 117: ZOMG Swine Flu
Be alert. Wash your hands. Stay away from Mexico. If you exhibit flu-ish, sore throat symptoms, PANIC!
You may wonder why the pigs have given us this pandemic. I've been researching and researching and I believe I found a somewhat suitable answer.
The pigs have waged war with us.
Sure you have your ham sandwiches, your bacon, your sausages, your pigs feet, ecetera. You'd think that'd be good enough reason to wage war against the human race.
The horror, served with a side of grapes (who commented that they are neutral in the Pig and Swinese War).
However, pig slaughter is only Joe Biden compared to the Barack Obama of all reasons.
The Mythbusters.
Pigs were once peaceful, carefree, dirt-loving mammals. Then the Mythbusters came along and brought terror and horror to the lives of these innocent pigs! The cruel things they do to those pig corpses, may they rest in peace, (even as their skin burn in pieces), would put the slaughter houses to shame! The Mythbusters have used pig analogs as replacement for human test subjects to get feasible results to myths that are potentially harmful to humans. They shot guns and cannonballs at them, let them decompose in a car, even used their stomachs to mix pop rocks and soda for a gasy explosion. They even dress up and humiliate the corpses of these poor, poor pigs!
Here's the evidence (BE WARNED: This video is not for the kiddies, the faint of heart, or the pig armada threatening our lives):
Just awful...
I would wage war against humanity too if I knew this was going on to my people. XD
Anyways, nothing much happened today. Just partially slept in Chemistry. Met up with Susan Surrandon and Matt afterwards... Matt apparently had a puking session this morning... Ew... Then I went to Chem Lab, which was pretty much 2 hours of watching ice melt, freeze, melt, and freeze again. Literally. DX
Had a cheeseburger for lunch... Cow, NOT pig! XD
Piper brushed out my hair, which resulted in a hand-sized hairball off of my brush. Dustin put it in his shirt as chest hair, and Matt stuck it out of the crotch of his pants... Apparently my hair is very much like pubic hair. :P
Heidi, our Piano teacher, is a clean freak, which I guess is understandable seeing as she plays the piano 58-hours a day. She scared us about the swine flu, saying stuff like it apparently targets young adults... I gooped my hands with half the bottle of hand sanitizer as I left. XP
And I had to wait for my ride, so I walked to the tennis courts, where I sat with Dustin on the bleachers watching a 12 year old girl out play college kids at tennis. I still had on the random bracelet he made out of the string that would have tightened the bottom of the legs of his shorts. He made one for himself at lunch, then he made one with the other one and put it around my wrist. So basically, the bracelet I'm wearing came from inside Dustin's pants. :P
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My Question:
If you were responsible for an epidemic, what would be the symptoms of your disease?
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The Santa Cruz Trip (w/Piper) COUNTDOWN!
How many more days must I endure until I get to see the Prime Minister of Coffee?
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4 Days!
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Kaylah really hates Starbucks... With a passion... Which is why, whenever I have one, I must text her "Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned." XD
Speaking of which:
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
Forgive me Mother K, for I have sinned.
I've been a bad, bad boy... XD
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